hello diary. I've realized I really don't write or open up much in these entries, but I guess that changes now. It's nice to know that whenever things get a bit rough there's always a diary I can write in. I don't have one physically, but anything can be a diary if you want it to be. So I guess, for now, this is going to be it.
I felt a bit burnt out this week. I've been working on site updates everyday and not because I feel forced to or because I feel like I have to produce content like I still have social media and need to keep up with an algorithm, I actually have lots of fun coding and making new pages. I've reached a level of knowledge of html/css where I can confidently use it like a tool (at least the way I do it), much like how brushes and drawing softwares are a tool for creating artwork. So in a way, it's like I'm drawing when I'm coding. But now that I'm talking about drawing I want to dedicate some time to that too, since I've only opened my drawing software for doing hobopro spreads or site art. It's time for something more personal. (even if hobopro and my site's artwork already are haha. Maybe I meant personal as in art for my eyes only)
My routine's getting a bit cracked now that classes are over and exam season is in. I had to wake up really early to take the train and go to class so that also gave me the occasion to have more regular meals and, most importantly, have breakfast which is my favorite meal of the day despite me not having it for 80% of the year!!!! And speaking of uni, I still have to check the study materials out... My only winter exams are going to be history and I'm really not feeling it... Still, I need some regularity in my life, so I think I'll start by going to bed early and waking up early, which is easier said than done when I have nothing to do these days. Maybe I'll hit the city tomorrow morning and get coffee from that bubble tea place I like? Eh, I doubt I'll actually do it.
I tend to feel pretty bad whenever I take a day off or I end up being less productive than I expected for the day. Today I did a small amount of coding and working on my site and spent the rest of the day watching a vod and replaying Yakuza 7 (which I've been enjoying a lot but I pay little attention to it since I've last played it kinda recently so I remember most stuff) and that wasn't enough for me apparently. When I'm done for the day I like having results and finished pieces to look back on, but I don't think I realize doing it everyday successfully is something most people can be proud of saying they do. So maybe I should pat myself on the back instead, for being so persistent?
Another reason I started a replay of Y7 is because I've been at a creative stalemate, where I'm able to draw but I'm not spawning any good ideas. Maybe a refresher before Y8's release could help...? It's also because I kinda missed Nanba and he has the honor of placing second of the podium of my favorite yakuza characters of all time, and coming near the first placed Kiryu is an incredible achievement, so I need to give him some attention.
I realized I've only been traveling lately (which means absolutely nothing since I only went on two trips during the last four weeks or so but have
both been equally exhausting) and that, along with some winter blues that can't go unnoticed, might be making me a bit more tired and less productive
than usual. The fact that I've been entirely focused on this site of course, is an added factor. I should consider CLOSING VSCODE CLOSING
VSCODE CLOSING VSCODE putting aside the site stuff for a bit and focusing a bit more on drawing and getting back some of my creativity, in
a way or another. Speaking of, I actually felt pretty happy about being able to come up with a doujinshi plot last night, but I fear it might be
too simple. I'm not too torn up about it though, since I need something to test out traditional comic making with. Going back to this site again,
I might have seriously overworked myself. I still feel like I can keep going but what remains of my common sense tells me I should get a damn grip
and do something else, instead of perpetuating the rhythm of make site/look at other sites for inspiration when tired/come up with ideas for site.
so, tl;dr I NEED TO DRAW !!!!!!!!!!!! special thanks to hobopro for being the reason I still open up clip studio/ms paint and draw something.
Anyway, now that Christmas holidays are rolling around, I'll have to start thinking about gifts and the like. I usually make huge batches of cookies this period of the year and planning should start about now... Do I really want to make them though? I don't know, I'm not feeling festive at all this year. Maybe I'll skip out on celebrating. I realized I kinda sound like a dick now. I'm just really tired, I wish I wouldn't feel so guilty whenever I end up sleeping through alarms and waking up at 10 instead of 8.
What's soothing me lately is Cry cafe's Va-11 Hall-a OST mix (maybe I should replay it and buy it during steam's winter sales?), lipton's peach tea, rukawa, playing Y7, winter nights, sleeping. And none of these things involve creating stuff... aaah I'm gonna rip my hair out at this point...
Writing in a diary feels nice. Maybe I should do it more often. I'm kind of a private person, I don't tend to show my feelings really often unless it's with someone close, but I still like the idea that maybe someone really is reading all of this. All of this is online, after all. Independent website communities really are something, huh? I finally feel like we're all connected once again (oops accidentally got lainpilled. lain used to be my favorite anime until cringe doomers and people who think they're smarter than they are started claiming it and making religions out of it instead of keeping it a secret like it was always meant to be... wait, what did I end up talking about...?)
I imagine whoever is reading this is probably still more interested in my site rather than my ramblings though. Well, I've got some good news! I think I might be finished coding all the new pages I wanted to do for now (spoilers: it's four of them, five if you count the piclog that was made in a single day and I liked it enough to upload it immediately) so they might come out in two different updates. I still have to decide when though so, stay tuned! I think for now I might log off a little and spend some time playing yakuza and drawing. Toodles!
hello! Happy december everyone! Have you guys put up your Christmas trees yet? I didn't, we're all sick and feeling under the weather in the family so that'll have to wait. Regardless, I went thrifting to Bologna yesterday with my friends! Although it was pretty exhausting, it was worth the trip. We found lots of cool stuff, I got accused of stealing all the fire stuff from my friends (I will not apologize I do not feel guilty), lunch was great and we had a good time altogether.
Me and friend 1 were pretty nervous during both trips because we had to verify we were getting off on the right train stations and had to monitor all train changes, while friend 2 was chill all the time and didn't give two shits. Good for her. The train to Bologna was my first high-speed train ride ever and it was way more comfortable and enjoyable than I expected. My parents rode one to Rome once and absolutely hated how fast it went but in my experience, it didn't even feel that fast compared to a regular train. It still arrived with ten minutes of delay but it wasn't a problem.
The venue was the tettoia nervi, a roofed space with a small skatepark in it. It was full of people both in the morning and in the afternoon when we returned after lunch. Unfortunately, we didn't get to take any pictures of the city or the venue with the excuse that we were on a business trip, which is kinda true? We didn't do any type of tourism, the most we did of that was when we had to go to the city centre to get something to eat because the exit of the station we took led us to the outskirts, where we were hanging around for the most part. We wandered there when we first set foot in the city too, we were completely lost and were kinda surprised by the fact that there weren't any bars around just outside of the station.
Lunch was incredibly good too, considering I had a flu and couldn't taste most things. We had tagliatelle bolognese in this ratty-ass (in a good way! It was a really small traditionally-decorated old school trattoria) place and had to sit outside, since the inside was packed. It wasn't a problem though, as we broke a sweat while walking and weren't cold at all. It still lingers in my memory and I really want to make some bolognese sauce now...
Anyway, I don't feel like taking a picture of everything I thrifted right now but you can have all these cool cross pendants I got. The locket has a picture of Kiryu in it, which you can barely see. All the stuff I got has a gyaru feel to it so I'm pretty happy since I needed more pieces to make gyaru-inspired outfits.